The Gin Rickey

Last night, before I met up with the lads, I simply had to stop and get a bottle of gin to make the evening more pleasant for us all. Poe was never more right than when he said “Drink the wine, it will make you glib.”
I had just finished rereading The Great Gatsby, and I had written in my journal that I wished to try a Gin Rickey, a cocktail all of the lovely denizens of the East and West Egg were imbibing throughout the course of the work.
Normally I take my gin with tonic, and I was a little dismayed when I saw the recipe for the Rickey: Take half of a lime, squeeze the juice into a highball glass then toss in the shell. Add some ice, at least two ounces of gin, and fill it the rest of the way with club soda.
Simple enough, but I adore that delightful bitterness of quinine and thought that the Rickey would not be able to assuage my desire for tonic.
I was so very wrong. Though this drink is certainly not as popular as it once was, and though G and Ts are far more frequently called for, this drink is refreshing, bitter and perfect for sipping in the heat.
Just like G and Ts however, it goes down all too easily. Martinis tend to overpower one and it is rare to have more than two in one evening. Quite the opposite with the Rickey; the freshness of the lime juice makes one go back for more. Last night I had six of them myself, which amounted to half of one bottle of gin. I’m a bit dull this morning but I will live. I am simply quite pleased that the Gin Rickey is a new part of my scant cocktail repertoire; there simply aren’t too many classic cocktails.

Drinks

Honestly, there simply aren't too many classic drinks for the gentleman. I am inclined to agree with Paul Fussel, in his book "CLASS: A Guide Through the American Status System" (review to follow) that the sweeter the drink, the lower its status. In short, shy away from from the bourbon and ginger ale (and just bourbon in general).
One of the tragic things about Americans, (the most tragic thing actually, aside from Prohibition)is that the great majority were not properly trained to drink. Not too many of us are fortunate enough to have mothers that trained us how to pair wines with our dinners or daddy's that taught us to mix their martinis for them.
Here is my list of acceptable drinks to be had before dinner. Gentle reader, if you disagree, I beg you to add further suggestions.
1. The Martini (preferably gin because this is the classic, though I have to admit I prefer vodka): Though its origins remain, shall we say, contended (we will probably never know for certain if it was invented in New York or in San Francisco, by an American or a Frenchman) it is the peerless pre dinner drink, the greatest of all cocktails. Any drink, as the old adage goes, will only be as good as the alcohol you put in it and for the Martini, since it has very few ingredients, this is especially true.
Kettle One happens to be my vodka of choice, though I long ago discovered a little advertised potato vodka from Poland called Luksusowa which is superb. My gin of choice is of course, Bombay Dry. I think it's the picture of the Queen that always wins me over.
Needless to say, you MUST use a martini glass; any attempt to serve the Martini in another sort of glassware will only serve to make your friends mock you for years to come. When a guest, you will be served Martinis in ceramic coffee cups from that moment forward. The Martini glass can be chilled in the freezer before you begin shaking up the cocktail.
The original recipe calls for two and one half ounces of gin. Pour the gin into a martini shaker with ice. Be extremely gentle with the dry vermouth. For the record, it is NOT a martini if it does not have at least some vermouth in it. You might opt to place a drop or two into the glass, or, like myself, put some into the shaker with the gin so it is well mixed. Do not be liberal with the vermouth. If you can taste it more than the gin or vodka you have included too much.
Shake your martini up. Try to make only one at a time of optimal flavor. Whatever you do, DO NOT shake too long and too rapidly as you will bruise the drink. If you see too many ice crystals floating in your martini, you've gone too far. Do not let your friends on the rowing team do the shaking. I've found that most girlfriends are perfectly made to mix martinis- just right without the vulgar aggression we lads possess (great on the battlefield, not always advantageous behind the bar).
Strain your martinis into your chilled cocktail glass and add the olives on a sterling silver or (shudder) stainless steel martini pick. You may use blue cheese stuffed olives if you must. Be certain the olives are of good quality and not those nasty little shriveled things you all too often encounter in stores.
Some people are under the erroneous assumption that keeping your bottle of spirits in the freezer precludes the need to shake the two and one half ounces over ice. The flavors do not come out if this is done, nor does the liquid become as chilled. The only reason you keep the gin in the freezer is so that you can take clandestine pulls straight out of the bottle when you have particularly irritating guests over.  
Some people, furthermore, make atrocious concoctions, such as the "chocolatini" or the "cosmopolitain" or other similar dreadful things. These are not martinis. When you order these sweeties you are only proving to the world that you learned to drink in you sorority house and still haven't quite figured things out. We suspected you were a child and now all of us know for certain. If you don't like that taste of alcohol then you ought not be drinking.
     

Was Matthew Arnold RIght?

The brilliant Matthew Arnold wrote in his phenomenal work Culture and Anarchy, that Americans were going to be possessed of vulgar comportment and terrible manners forever.
I try to deny his prediction, made over one hundred years ago, and yet, the more I travel and the more I observe human behavior, the more I am inclined to resign myself to the fact he was one of the greatest of prophets of the nineteenth century (I mean think of Dover Beach!).
The sad fact is, when one attempts to attire himself classically, timelessly, when one uses his gentlemanly manners, and when one speaks well naturally, he is often accused of being a snob, of putting on airs or of being pretentious. At this moment there is literally pressure to be substandard, to be mediocre. I know that this cult of mediocrity had always existed, and yet now I observe amongst my students a sort of pride in being ignorant, in being crude and in being plain. Why then attend a university?
This leads me to consider one of the causes of mediocrity; the American desire to attain only information which will make him money instantly and his desire to be satisfied at once with little effort on his part. Any sort of of literature, literary theory, poetry, plays or novels not related to the crude pleasures of instant gratification or guaranteed to make them more utile in the workplace (middle-class wage slave jobs) are disdained.
It is no longer considered necessary to be the well-rounded gentleman, to be a dilettante athlete, historian, traveler, and conversationalist.
We, we rare few, we happy few, we band of brothers must not allow this idiocracy to overtake us entirely; we must join and do all in out power to maintain these last bastions of culture.
According to Arnold, the only thing which can save us from our present condition is "culture", that very same thing which most equate with frivolity and uselessness.
Good taste demands that we elevate ourselves up to it, that we study, experience and discuss. We must not allow our appetites to fall into the gutter.

Sexist Jokes in Male Company: Tasteless or a Necessary Evil?

Let’s face it lads, when amongst the lads we must behave like lads; there simply is no helping it. Or is there? I recently completed a book titled “How to be a Gentleman: A Timely Guide to Timeless Manners” by John Bridges, which stated that a gentleman should never laugh at a sexist joke even when in exclusively male company. Now I may come off as a terrible person for saying this, but if one of the boys were to express any sort of displeasure at a joke (any joke really) he would become the source of much ridicule, and not for no good reason. I’m sorry, but not only was the book unoriginal and blase, it did make several ridiculous assertions that most “gentlemen” would find impossible to follow. The key to class really is knowing how to behave in any given situation, to know how to be comfortable anywhere one goes. I am afraid, when in exlusively male company a man is obligated to laugh even at the very bad jokes. The nice thing about being a lady is that she can tell all the sexist jokes she likes and we lads are obligated to laugh at them as well, no matter how third-rate they probably really are.

Hedonist, Epicurean, Cyrenaic or Decadent?

And so here I sit in my library, in my favorite Ralph Lauren jacket sipping champagne and smoking a cigar (Arturo Fuentes Curly Headed Deluxe is my daily brand while Monte Cristo Rothschils are my favorite). Why confine your pleasure to strict puritan timetables? I certainly don’t and neither should you, unless of course you happen to be a Puritan, in which case I urge you to flee from this place lest you should be corrupted. Darby has had enough angry mothers threatening him with loaded skeet guns and more than one martini thrown in his face, thank you very much. Darby shall not be held responsible.